Gnomenclature
Last Friday afternoon there was a knock on my door and when I looked outside I couldn't see anyone or anything so I opened up the door and lo and behold there was a tiny gnome on my front porch. He introduced himself as Roamy The Roaming Gnome and explained that he had traveled all the way from Di's house in Virginia to pay us a visit. Ironic really that a gnome would show up on my doorstep when one of the top grossing movies at the box office right now is Gnomeo and Juliet.
He went on to explain that he wasn't feeling well after his long journey and asked if he could take a nap. So I made up the bed in the guest room and he went to sleep and didn't wake up until Saturday morning!
On Saturday morning he was up bright and early, before the rest of us. And when I came out to fix some breakfast he was busy reading the latest catalog from Pottery Barn. We then ate toast and jam, drank some tea, and discussed the merits of fitted slipcovers verses loose fitting slipcovers. It turns out Roamy is quite the design connoisseur!
It also turns out that he is a bit of a history buff and asked if he could visit some of the local historic sites in my area. He said he had relatives that had sailed over from England on the Dove years ago to help establish the new colony of Maryland so I knew just where to take him...Historic St. Mary's City!
He loved seeing the old state house and touring the grounds of Historic St. Mary's City, and wanted to have his picture taken everywhere we stopped so that he could remember the trip fondly once he had headed off to roam the countryside once again.
Here he is on the old iron gates which lead to historic Trinity Episcopal Church overlooking the St. Mary's River. And he was also very interested in seeing the rest of the area which includes St. Mary's College of Maryland, a well respected liberal arts college which is adjacent to the historic site.
Now, I had heard from both Di and Karen that Roamy has a bit of an independent and mischievous streak about him, but I really hadn't seen it...until...
As we approached this innocent looking vine covered stairway that leads to a dorm he jumped right up on the vines and announced that he had always wanted to try bungee jumping! I was able to talk him out of that, but it wasn't long before he was hanging out with a few college students and well, let's just say, that he got a little out of control.
The group of students began egging him on and one thing led to another! Here he is practicing his 50-50 grind down this steep staircase...without a skateboard!
Here he is trying to decide where he wants to go next...North, South, East, or West...in the end he decided he would flip a coin.
Now, I'm not trying to say that college students are a bad influence or anything, but Roamy was invited to spend the night at the college and hang out. He had a pretty convincing argument, he assured me that at the age of almost 200 he would be the mature one and keep things in check.
He even took me to the recently built boathouse and said things like "look, we'll just sit here on these Adirondack chairs and discuss the world's problems and watch the sun go down. We might even read some poetry or help old people across the road."
And the students were pretty convincing too and told me how they would take him out sailing and really give him a true "southern" Maryland experience.
That's why Roamy left home after all, to see the world and experience different things, so I grudgingly agreed and went home.
The next day when I went to pick him up I found this! Blurry pictures posted on Facebook with wall posts that said things like "Haha Roamy that was awesome," people calling him the original hipster! Something no parent really wants to see! Now I know I'm not his parent, but still I was entrusted with his care and safety while he's visiting me!
Roamy and I sat down on the jetty while I espoused the virtues of education, the need to limit his alcohol intake, and how you can't give in to peer pressure. And I really thought I was getting through to him when someone in a passing car yelled "Roamy, check out your boat dude!"
That's when I saw this! Needless to say we headed straight home and Roamy has committed to doing a few hours of community service to make amends! Thank goodness my own children were a bit more tame!
Of course you can't stay mad at a face like his for too long though!
If you live somewhere other than Maryland, Virginia, or Connecticut and think you have what it takes to host Roamy for a few days send me an email and I'll pick a name from a hat! Just be aware that you might need to have the number of your local bails bondsmen handy...just sayin'!
